Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Dear little shit: You might...

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
Laurence J. Peter

Dear little shit;

I apologize in advance for all the crazy, terrible, funny stuff that is going to happen to you in your life. I will embarrass you until your cheeks burst from blushing on more than 18 occasions... and I so look forward to it. Your dad will probably trump my efforts. And because your dad and I are goofballs, you might really enjoy your childhood... or develop an anxiety disorder because of it. Can't say for sure yet. You might love having us as parents... or you might not be able to stand us.

In fact...

You might get all your presents wrapped in newspaper,
But your mom is an eco-freak which benefits your planet.
You might hear about planes every day of your life,
But your dad is a pilot who supports your freedom.
You might have plain brown eyes and plain brown hair,
But those are genetic advantages against skin cancer and stereotypes.
You might never be a tall, slinky model,
But I'm forcing you to be a doctor so get over it (j/k-you just won't be tall).
You might grow up having to communicate in multiple languages,
But we hope you learn to appreciate your heritage.
You might be the kid wearing hand-me-downs instead of new labels to school,
But you'll build character not worrying about superficial stuff like that.
You might get dragged on weird family vacations far from Disneyworld,
But we hope you learn more about the world and your role in it.
You might have a strange, big, mixed family,
But that means you have lots of aunts and uncles to learn from.
You might not have two grandfathers,
But you'll have one who can fill the job twice.
You might make mistakes here and there and feel bad,
But know you're learning and we love you just the same.

...and we'll always be there for you to help you along the way (picking our noses and everything).

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