Take Off

It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance. It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes a chance. It is the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give. And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.
Bette Middler

Like my CrossFit training and my wedding planning, my blog has taken a bit of a backseat to life. I've been sick for a little while and been busy trying to mend the oddities that have happened since returning home... But things are for the most part back together and I've got to get back to writing. An idea has stuck with me since flying home and I wanted to revisit that idea.

While boarding a United flight back home, without Clint, by myself, I was reminded of a once simple yet bold traveler. An old version of myself? I pulled out my book and began reading while observing my fellow travelers in the corner of my eye. The woman next to me, an older Indian woman from Hayward, revealed by an envelope she pulled out of her purse, had aged fingers with once elastic skin sagging around the knuckles. Around her ring finger was a gold ring that remained the same size but hung loosely around the folds.

After about a half hour the plane was finally in line for takeoff. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed this part of the flight-the sudden rush of takeoff, your back being pushed into your seat, and the thrill of going to a new place. You're taking off, the feeling of a new beginning. Life has moments like that. Moments where you feel life is taking off and you're caught up in the momentum of the event and of the voyage to wherever life is taking you. I thrive on those moments and I live for them.

Lately though, those moments have been difficult to find. I suppose I've been in a funk and after arriving back in England, that funk has settled back over me like the clouds over England itself. But I reminded myself... I bought my plane tickets in the past and I made opportunities for every take off I've flown... in life it is the same way. So in the pursuit of takeoffs, I've opened my mind up to the idea that I am traveling and in another leg of my journey in life. I have to make my own takeoff's in life. And so I've reignited my quest for an NGO position at CAMfed. And reaffirmed the ideal that I am my own person: as long as I can accept myself and these choices I've made, no one can knock me down.

You have to pilot your own life and create your own takeoffs...