Monday, August 2, 2010

Conversations with my daughter: Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say things just to be mean

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.

Dear Little Shit;

Emotions boil, anger bubbles, tensions mount... sometimes all you want to do is say the thing you know will bring the moment to a point and let all the frustrations come spilling out. Maybe I've grounded you for dying your hair, or maybe Dad prohibited you from dating the guy with the 'tude problem. Maybe the world just doesn't understand the emotional abyss that is "teenage angst".

It's ok.

It will all be okay. Just be careful how you handle it all. Hopefully Dad and I have taught you well and showed you how to cope with anger. But maybe we missed a step or maybe we just are not the strongest influence in your life. Regardless of what the situation is, if you love the person you're in this situation with then learn how much more beautiful a situation can end when you compose yourself with sealed lips. I don't mean to bite your tongue or to not express yourself. I do mean to keep your anger in check and not say anything you don't mean. Sometimes it's easier to just say the hurtful thing because you want the other person to feel as betrayed or jaded as you. All that does is set things back, not move things forward. Maybe you really want to say something mean to me, Dad, your best friend. But once you release words, you can never take them back.

As angry as you might be, regret is a worse feeling.

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